Tired, Sad and Scared
[Current Mood:] Very very very Sad, tired and a bit freaked out[Listening To:] The incessant drone of the pc
Today was really fun. Chris came and spent the day with me yesterday unbeknownst to my parentals, who found out anyway cause dad saw me and him get into my grandads car to go back to my place lol they were suprisingly good about it lol, they even cracked Jokes about it which really fucken scared me lol, im not even being punished for it! LE-SWEET AS SHIBBY! :)
Damn, no news so far on the Emmy Fay Looking For Employmet Front, Im gunna go apply for the petstore as soon as i get the opportunity, I need to go around Morwell some more cause so far I've only really applied for placed in Traralgon and Churchill, fuck I'll go work in Moe if i have to i mean a job's a job and there's none down here right now ANYWHERE, its not the fact that people are shafting me its the fact that that theres no real postitions out there at the moment and two when there are jobs and i apply for them i doubt the fact that they think im no good anymore ive come to realise its more the fact that they'd have to pay me alot more cause Im 18, Sian's got a job working at Inferno now so maybe when i get my RSA i'll apply for like there, Inferno, Ryan's and shit like that, though Mum being mum would want me to do the Churchill pub or the Yinnar one or something to save me money, she just doesn't want me to move in with Chris for the time being i think. I know her hearts in the right place and that she's actaully right for all the reasons why she wouldnt want me to, i just wanna get out of here, Ive spent too long being a bum, not out of choice mind you, its not fair!
My mother made another great decision for me, she decided that it would be a better idea that i go on The Pill cause she doesn't want anything fucking up my art career (anything meaning she doesn't want to have me living under her roof as a teenage mother). I don't even want to go on it! well i do cause its conveinient and better in the long run but i mean i don't really want to be fucking with my body like that, i read the thing inside the box and my god id never seen so many unpleasant side effects, that take at least 3 months to dissapear! its all kind of scary : ( I know its gunnabe the better decision to make in the long run but errrrrrrrggggghhhhhh like i want and need to grow up but everything has suddenly hit me all at once - Chris moving out and wanting me to come too, Uni, my folks buying me a manual car and me not knowing how to drive it properly but need to before Uni starts cause they all work and cant get me there, having to deal with the possibility of missing one of those tiny little tablets and landing me and Chris in some hot water, not having any money to support myself arrrrgh i dont even care anymore im too tired......
My cat has been missing for over 2 weeks now, she's not coming back, i think the foxes got her, its not fair, ive lost my best friend, she was so old and fragile, so small, she couldn't have done anything to save herself, there's about 5 families of foxes around our house....i just hope if they got her, it was quick and she wasn't in alot of pain....my poor Georgie-fay, i'll never get to cuddle you again, i'll never see you hanging around my feet when i paint anymore, i'll never get to laugh at you hanging upside down from my window fly-wire making a hell of a racket at 2 in the morning, i'll never hear you meowing at the door, Bomber-Fay will have no-one to snuggle up to when he goes to sleep, i'll never be able to hear you purring in my ear next to me at night again, or feel your little heart beating against my chest when we cuddle, i just hope that wherever you happen to be, that you're ok and know that i miss you, and if you're up there, i hope you and Nan are taking care of one another....
.......ive just realised something.....
Im a month late. Fucking Brilliant.
posted by Emmy Fay @ Friday, February 17, 2006
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